The New Normal (Ted's Perspective)

Tina has asked me to from time to time write a blog so I will give it a shot.

It has been a month since I lost my job so I don’t leave the house every day to go to work anymore. I have been looking but no new job yet and I know God will reveal the right one in his timing. From day one of not working in the oilfield, I dove into helping Tina get this website www.tinalawver.com off the ground. It has been a learning curve for both of us and our wonderful niece, Michaela of Newsymom.com has been a Godsend in helping us do the hard parts. My perspective has been changing from the first day of this process. You must first know that I have always respected my wife and know that she puts a lot of time and effort into the process of painting and teaching but to see the care and detail she puts into every single aspect of the business has been an eye opener. Tina has a gift of feeling very deeply, something most of us guys don’t get, and when she paints it comes out in her work. I have sat for hours and watched her look at every detail and enhance a painting and even ask God what is missing then listening to His still small voice and making those adjustments. It is fascinating to me. What I had not seen was how when someone buys even something as small as an ornament, she painstakingly writes a note and carefully packages up the piece and prays over it to ask that it will bless the recipient. I have always dabbled in playing with driftwood and making sculptures and such out of the driftwood but since watching Tina I have begun to take more care and consider the recipient. I want each piece to have an impact on the life it touches. We are calling this “new” life we live as The Artful Life at Pigeon Run and we believe that we were created by a very thoughtful creator so we should be thoughtful or mindful of our creations. So when you look at something either Tina or I create and it speaks to you please know that it was most likely created with you in mind. We may not have known your name when creating it but the Creator did.

Filter

Our Grandgirl, Savannah, was hanging out at our house one late Fall weekend. She's a beautiful, positive, hopeful soul, as well as an avid reader.

She was curled up on the sofa under a soft blanket, scrolling through movie options. She stopped at one and said, with excitement, "Grammy, I've read this book! Can I watch this?"

I, being the cautious Grammy I am, looked it over and agreed that she could hit the play button.

As the movie began and progressed, I began to progress into increasingly uncomfortable feelings as I watched difficult themes and family situations were painfully portayed as the story played out. Themes that my sweet Grandgirl shouldn't even know about. I kept questioning my decision to say yes to that pressing of play. I kept looking at her as she was taking in the story of this family in distress and I noticed her reactions were as if she was watching a Disney movie. I was confused and dealing with my own triggers mental and physical discomforts when I called my husband over and said "Babe, is this ok?" He said "she's fine, I'm here if she has questions" Now keep in mind, this movie was very PG. I wasn't allowing my innocent Grandgirl to be corrupted in front of me, but the family members in the portrayal yelling at and hurting each other with mean words was more than I could take.

I told Hubby that I was retreating to the studio to just have a quiet moment.

I was amazed at my anger, my triggered mind and body was looking for quick relief. What's my default, always, even before prayer is to pick up a brush. I grabbed the nearest canvas which happened to be a 3' x 3' square gallery wrapped canvas and began making marks layering gels, with violets and coppers. Immediately, the tears came, the prayer flowed, and the comfort and clarity entered in.

I left the piece and came back in to the final 20 minutes of the movie. I sat beside Savannah. She was smiling. I asked her how the movie was and how she could deal with the conflicts in this family's story. She looked at me and smiled sweetly and said, "I knew it was ok, because I knew how the story would end" I was amazed at her answer. I looked at Ted (Hubby) and he said something that was so valuable to me. Still is. He said, "Her filters are not your filters"

Her experiences with family and life are hope filled. Mine with family were not so much and those past wounds created a filter of distrust and pain and a desire to wrap her up and protect her from the discomfort that I was feeling. The interesting thing is she wasn't experiencing any of that. None of that crossed her mind. Not even her reality at all!

As I immersed myself, day's later, back into the process of the piece I began that day, I learned a valuable lesson on perspective which has allowed me to give grace to others in relationships realizing that we can all be looking at and experiencing the same circumstances, but the filter by which each one sifts that experience creates a perception that I may not understand but requires grace. I also realize that my filtered experiences may require a bit of grace as well.

Blessings,

Tina

Trust The Process

This phrase, Trust the Process, has become a theme. As an artist, a creative soul, and certainly as a human being, I find that this action applies to and bleeds into so many areas of my life.

As you begin to journey with me here, you'll find it referred to over and over.

There are times, as I look back on roles I've had, that if I'd learned that life itself is the process, I believe I'd have been a more patient student, daughter, wife, and Momma.

Just like a painting comes to completion through a process, so it relates to life.

There is

inspiration, a vision

a first step

a bold move toward that vision

Often and I would say, nearly always, for me.....There's a roadblock, a stopping point, even an ugly stage.

There, I find, is often a wall where my vision comes face to face with whether or not I'm skilled enough or equipped to pull it off. That is where the trust comes in.

It's at that moment, where a choice needs to be made. We quit...We scrap the piece, paint over it, go a different direction, or just stop entirely. OR we trust...We step back, remember the inspiration, the vision that began it all, learn something new, and press in to journeying and trusting through the process.

Quitting and scrapping just stops us. We don't learn because we aren't challenged to grow...we gain nothing.

But!!...When we trust that the inspiration and vision has meaning not just for us, but for someone else, we gain everything through that journey. I find the completion of one journey often informs and leads to the next one.

So it is the vision, the why, that got this journey on it's way that carries me through it and motivates me to finish strong.

Trusting the Process and knowing it's worth it is an Overcomer's state of being.

Blessings,

Tina