Saying Yes and Showing up...again (opposition part 1)

One of the most surprising things that has created growth, maturity, and boldness as a person as well as increased communication and skills as an artist is instructing, teaching, leading.

It has also been a key element in increasing my faith.

It's true!

Several years ago, a very persuasive friend, encouraged me....no insisted! nearly forced! me out of my comfort zone to begin doing those "paint and sip" classes in her restaurant.

I was terrified! I'd never done that before, I had absolutely no desire to do that...and frankly, I was enjoying life in my lil studio creating as I pleased. I was doing commissioned work, creating in freedom with no judgement, privately mentoring others, and going my own, under the radar, way.

I did my first packed out event, totally winging it, dreading the moment, and filled with all the human emotion and anxiety that happens when you stand before others being filtered through their experience and expectations. Being encouraged to give God my yes and just show up, nearly 4 years of those classes taught me what I needed to learn and lead me to what is being created now.

What I know now that I never would have learned had I said no is that when you step into new territory, the first thing that happens is opposition.

Looking back, the first and worst opposition came from the most unlikely source...it came from me! The narrative was quick, strong, and effective like the snap of a whip that leaves a slash wound.

"Who am I to lead?, I'm uneducated, untrained. What do I have to share?, Why would anyone listen to what I have to say? I don't look good enough to stand in front of a group? They have no idea how flawed I am, but they will see Why would anyone listen to me?...and on and on..."

Every body issue, every insecurity, every flaw was on display as I stood in front of the mirror in the restroom hearing all of the crowd noise on the other side of the door...and then I took a deep breath and a word of truth came over me..."You do not see yourself the way I see you...be grateful" I suddenly did not want to miss this moment. If someone had opened that door and said "you don't get to do this tonight", I would have been devastated! What a contrast! Right?!

I opened that door and did a new thing. It wasn't perfect. It had a lot of moments of fear of failure and feelings of frailty and inferiority...But...BUT!

That was a beginning that I marked as a beginning that was connected to several other beginnings...

*like stepping onto a plane and landing in a foreign land to speak to women who spoke another language about sexual abuse and overcoming before I could really call myself an overcomer...

*like driving South by myself to submit and learn in the midst of those who know more than me about art and creativity even though I felt I didn't belong...

*like teaching a few semesters about creativity in a ministry school to future pastors, missionaries, and upcoming leaders about the importance and depth of creative communication...

*like being invited to speak to the art community in Savannah, GA (home of the Savannah College of Art and Design) about my self- taught work...

AND this is just a few!

The great revelation that motivates me to keep stepping is that it's NOT about me! I actually get to do this! Weakness and flaws are still on display, but God uses all of that and I wonder would His use of me be as effective for me and others if I were a bit more polished?

So, my knee jerk, opposing narrative doesn't last as long as it did that day. I still look in the mirror and remind myself that I don't see myself the way the Father sees me. I put on the warrior spirit He gives and walk onto the battlefield clothed in His armor and still shaking and turning several shades of red (everyone who has ever taken a class or heard me speak is familiar with this)

He just wants my yes and to show up as me.

My desire is to create an atmosphere in my studio for these small group workshops where people just say yes and show up as their authentic self.

Opposition is squashed with gratitude and knowing that we GET to do this!

and

to be expectant of an opposing attack who's goal is to stop that first step toward a dream... Opposition is certain and it comes when we take a step in new effective, influential territory that has the potential to have an eternal impact.

Choose gratitude, say yes, show up...and remember, we begin from the victory line and we have the honor of running the race.

In Christ, you are enough...and He doesn't call the the perfect and polished, He equips the flawed called.

Blessings to you

Tina

Acts 4:13

I Married a Dreamer

Today is my amazing Husband's birthday.

Ted began as a sweet supportive friend my freshman year of high school. He was that guy, voted wittiest, nicest smile, and the guy everyone wanted to be their friend. He still is.

As you can read on our story page on this website, Ted and I have had quite a journey. We live an incredibly grateful life. We've had a life of living in plenty and seasons of living with very little. In every

season, we've experienced provision...

God is faithful.

We've experienced intense pain and overwhelming joy. In each instance, we know we've been held...again, God is faithful.

We've had moments of crazy foolishness and paid the price and, at times, we've been blessed with wisdom that saved us from consequences.

We are not perfect, but we are His. Our story has messy chapters, but it's been redeemed and has become a good read. ( more on that in the future as well)

I'm so very grateful today, and everyday, that I've been blessed with this great man with whom I get to share my life and I know he feels the same way about me.

He has wild, out of my comfort zone ideas and dreams. He may be a more daring dreamer than I am!

It was Ted who wanted to buy this old house. It was Ted who walked into our pole barn garage and said, "This is your studio". It was Ted who said.."Let's move everything upstairs and turn this lower level into our Gallery / Shoppe" (who knows when it'll actually be a thing...but it will)

It was he who said, "yes, you can do a solo show", "you need to go to Gathering of Artisans", "yes you can be a featured artist at the Savannah Art Walk" He is always saying "Yes, you got this!"

When I received the word several years ago that I was to Live where I work and work where I live, it was Ted who pointed out that I was being disobedient to my calling by doing anything else. "Stop it!"

It's Ted who says "you can do it!", "you're enough", "I'll be right beside you"

There isn't a gift that would express my gratitude for him (friendship, love, laughter, support) for his birthday for he is a gift to me everyday.

As much as I have no issue bragging on him, I know how sappy this must sound. Another thing Ted would say and I would echo it and stand with him in total agreement is that our relationship is just real with all it's ups and downs, it is a good Father who holds us together.

Blessings to you, Tina

Dream 2020

Any opportunity that I get to share a moment with friend, and influencer, Sherry Schie, I truly can expect to get an upgrade in my spirit. She has an amazing story, an open heart, and a drive to encourage others to dream big as she has done and continues to do in her own life.

She was lead to create an evening of dreaming, brainstorming, and encouragement. She opened her beautiful restaurant, Shy Cellars (a dream realized), and spoke from her heart about giving yourself permission to dream and steps on how to move forward.

She worked joyfully to set the environment for us to let go, laugh, and dream big as only Sherry can do. She spoke with authority because she has been there, she's walked this journey, and she walks it again and again because God is always giving us seeds of His big ideas as He desires for us to co-labor for His purposes on this side of heaven.

Shy Cellars was all set with a space for each guest, complete with our own art journal and all the creative supplies we needed to give us inspiration as we move forward to create the beginnings of vision boards.

I'm so excited for the next one!!! Yes, there is another one being planned for February 3rd with an amazing speaker that you won't want to miss!! Go to Shy Cellars on FB and Instagram and the www.shycellars.com and get on the mailing list so you don't miss the announcement for registration.

I was so honored to be able to have her invitation to share my heart as she gave me the opportunity to speak on battling opposition as you dream. (I'll be posting about that in the coming days)

What a privilege and the moment was not lost on me that I got to stand in the space with a group doing the same thing I'm doing. Knowing there is more...knowing we have purpose...knowing that God's vision and plans are way bigger than what we can see..

and knowing it's important because the impact of our walking in our calling is greater than we can see. It's eternal.

The first thing we encounter when we have a desire to move into new territory and walk in that Dream/Vision/Calling is opposition. It's just something we can expect, but don't be discouraged....we have effective weapons for battle.

I'll be discussing my thoughts on battling opposition and new territory in an upcoming post. I'm excited to share with you what the Father is teaching me about this subject that often kills a dream at the moment of inspiration.

Blessings to you

Tina

*photos used in this post were used with permission from dreamer/attendee, Natalie Mann