You Have a Voice Worth Hearing

Our position within a family or group sometimes determines how our voice is heard and thus formed. I grew up in an amazing family where there was a ton of love so please don't assume I have issues with my family or feel slighted by them. I was loved. I was the third of 4 boys. I was not only the 3rd but I was the third by 8 years. I was the "baby" of the family for 7 years until my youngest brother was born. There are some great perks to being the "baby". I could literally do no wrong in my grandparents eyes and mostly in my mom's eyes as well. I had to royally screw something up to get reprimanded. I did at times cross that line.

There was a downside as well. I do not remember anyone, in the first 16 years of my life, ever asking me what my opinion was on any family decision. If I ever tried to give my opinion, it was minimized. "How cute, Ted has something to say." My family was not cruel or mean. I was just not viewed as a person with a lot of wisdom or insight. Until recently, I gave this very little thought. Keeping my opinions to myself was and largely still is my default. Even after I got older, I sometimes tried to insert my opinion into a conversation and would be dismissed. So, why try to comment?

I hate to repeat myself, but at times it is important to the reader to see my heart and know why I am sharing my heart and my hurts with you. I do not want you to feel sorry for me but I do want you to read this and maybe it hits home with you. I told you all of that to tell you this.

You have a story and you have wisdom to share.

Don't let that past stop you from sharing your heart with others today. If no one has ever told you before, I am telling you now. Your story is worth sharing. God is a God of second chances. He has been with you through your life and brought you through it so that you can share your story to help others. Find a way. There have been friends and teachers in my past who encouraged me and I am so thankful for their example. I don't express myself well verbally but can get my point across with the written word so for me it was writing a devotional and the future books I am working on. Some may be able to write songs, speak in public, or just push through to mentor younger people one on one. They really do respect you enough to listen. You can even find other ways to express your story. Tina uses her art to tell stories that touch people deeply. I have seen tears roll down people's faces as they see the art and hear the story behind the piece. The art will serve as a memorial for that moment when they made a decision to move past the dark period in their life or to memorialize a triumphant moment in their history. The point is, you never know what a positive word from you, given by inspiration of God, can do to help the hearer, reader or viewer.

We are here for purpose and our voice has value.

Ted

"Traveler"

by Tina Lawver

The "Rent Free" Series

The day that I received the call from NewPointe Community Church that they were getting ready to preach a message series called "Rent Free" focusing on mental illness and wellness, I was in the midst of selling the big house, packing to go to Washington State to see our Son, and looking for a new place to live, but...I immediately said YES to creating a series of paintings interpreting the theme of the messages and to allow a video crew to come to my studio to video the process start to finish...

Then?!

that night, I stood in my studio and became terrified!

So many thoughts filled my head and flooded my spirit.

Why me? Who am I? I'm not good enough of an artist! What will people who don't like me think? Yes, believe it or not, there are those who aren't my biggest fans...and they are local and surely they'd see and judge. (at least that was dancing in my head)

So many thoughts...So many lies

I began to ask God what to do and ask Him how to hard pass on this task. I had a ton of excuses with the move and all. I could have understandably wiggled right out of it.

In the quiet, I was given the realization that those people, the words, the lies...I was allowing them to live in my head "R E N T F R E E" and that is what I was to convey.

I knew exactly what that meant.

I pulled out canvas and my first attempt was a failure because I wasn't painting what was real.

I was painting what would please the audience.

It was when I grabbed a sheet of cotton paper, taped it to the easel, put messy charcoal in my hand that things got authentic.

What did I desire at that very moment?

Peace...Peace in the middle of chaos

Truth....in the midst of swirling lies

What was up there living rent free? and why were these thoughts swirling at this very moment?

Beginning to surrender each one, through cleansing tears, images began to appear.

Marks, swirls, colors colliding like, even they, were warring for my freedom.

The series was born.

6 unique but connected pieces of art that have proven to be very powerful, not just for me, but for others. I'm sure that was God's intention.

"Harmonious"

Original has found a home

"Tranquil"

"Reconciled"

"Peace Be"

"Quietude"

"Stillness"

What lives in your head, rent free?

Authentically Yours,

Tina

The Paradox and the Purpose

This had a ringing of truth as I read it. The saying goes..."get comfortable with being uncomfortable" Right?

There's no comfort if you are growing and I've decided to be in continual growth so I've embraced this little statement.

I don't want to get stagnant, stand still, wrap up in a comfy blanket ...

(though there may be some Winter nights spent just this way)

and be constantly protected from every negative impact that may come my way in the form of target, resistance, or failure.

One of the many things I appreciate about children, particularly our Grandsons, is that they have such a sense of wonder and curiosity that it often overrides their sense of possible discomfort. It's quite engaging when you think about it. They instinctively know that it will be fun to climb that tree and reach that next branch, it'll have great reward to jump that bike over that ramp, they will experience adventure balancing precariously on that moving object.

It's the strong knowing that what is in the process and on the other side is where the richness of the moment lies even though that limb breaking, the bike crashing, and the balance failing as they fall to the ground are real possibilities, they cast it aside naively and quickly proceed.

They haven't experienced enough to have the discernment to avoid the stupid antics where the risks outweigh the results and what is purposeful or just folly.

As we mature and have experienced the falls, breaks, crashes, and wounds, we gain a wisdom and a knowledge that this could hurt, we may fail...the possibilities of failure seem to move more to the front of our conscience and often stop us in our tracks and keep us from stepping into what could be.

Every great moment seems to require a bit of risk and discernment is key.

I will confess, I've gotten a bit hardened by past hurts and have some interesting scars to show for it though some cannot be easily seen. (so true on this side of heaven for us all) I've become someone of what I'll call "sterner stuff". It's been misinterpreted and I'm ok with that. It's been misunderstood when my calling didn't fall in line with a role that filled a purpose for someone else.

It's created in me a boldness, a purpose driven sense of get it done, and a desire to share the more...The More that comes from being uncomfortable, experiencing pain, and then overcoming.

It is in the overcoming that we find out who we are and often who others are. It can be how God refines you and uses you to refine others. It's the process and I have learned to expect resistance and to trust the process because I trust my Maker. The Creator, God, is also the re-creator. He never leaves us stuck and enjoys the path with us.

My Art, Life, and Mission...are all one as far as who I am in each. Striving to have that alignment, I quickly notice when one is off and work to affirm the path I'm on.

Having a softness and a sense of curiosity and wonder, knowing that hurt and being uncomfortable is necessary, as well as a boldness to stand firm knowing Who makes me worthy and has given me a purpose, I do realize I'm a bit of a mix...a paradox if you will. Two ends of a spectrum...I'm sweet, but don't mess with my calling. I'm open, but don't stand in the way. I Love, but I'll speak truth...because I love. I'll shake the dust off my shoes and move on and pray for you as I do.

If you examine my life, you'll see it. If you view my work, you'll experience it. If you need the encouragement to draw a line in the sand, sit tall in your own seat, and move past the uncomfortable things to experience the beauty of possibility, I may be your people.

My work is created to encourage us to embrace both. The softness and open curiosity unencumbered by the possibility of pain as well as the focused strength and boldness of one with fixed eyes on mission.

Living and Thriving in a State of Wonder - Knowing and Communicating our Worth

Authentically Yours,